Foreign Exchange Disaster
by LaMasChulin
Summary: A clash between two of the most hard headed people in the soul society. XXXX Chapter 7 is now up./// A mix of the all too many absurdities of life.
1. Guess Who

"_Gooooood Morning, This is 103.8 F.M. radio at 6:00 in the morning telling you to WAKE UP!!!!!!"_

The radio went off at the exact time it was set, starting off a new day at the Kurosaki residence. The only response made was the few grunts of a tired teenage boy. Lifting his arm as if attempting to silence the mechanism, he missed quite a few times before successfully shutting it off. Pulling off his bed covers he rubbed his bloodshot eyes while still half awake, Ichigo reached out for his cell phone checking if he had any missed calls. Flipping it open there seemed to be none. Disappointed he closed the cell phone and rolled out of the bed making his way towards the closet. He curious as to why Rukia hadn't left a message, he was used to the long ass messages that she left on his cell at 1:00 in the morning. Lost in thought a faint knock at his door quickly returned him to his senses.

"Come in" he yawned.

With that broad figure entered the somewhat messy room, and with the flick of the light switch Ichigo grunted with displeasure.

"You're going to need to get ready faster than that if we want to be there on time."

Ichigo just rolled his eyes reaching for a random t-shirt from the closet.

"You know I don't even know why we decided to sign up for this stupid foreign exchange thing."

His father just sighed and looked down at his watch he left the room, calling behind him

"Be ready in fifteen minutes!"

Ichigo sighed as he pulled on his pants, he didn't even know how the whole thing was started, just another of his father's bright ideas. Not being all too familiar with these types of programs he could only guess what the outcome would be. Not being much of a fan of the whole thing, the only information he could gather was that the student was a female. Putting his jacket on he made his way out and met up with his father who was half asleep on the couch.

"I'm ready."

Not even batting an eye the older man chuckled

"Well it's about time!"

Inside the car Ichigo started to shiver from the morning chill.

"Damn it's cold!"

Rubbing his hands together he made his way to turn up the heater as his father finally spoke up.

"Now Ichigo I signed up for this thinking would be a great experience so I want to make the best of this, but listen to me when I say I want you to be respectful to our guest- hey are you paying attention to me?"

In fact he had been ignored as Ichigo zoned elsewhere staring outside the window at the passing cars.

"An answer would suffice you know."

Ichigo merely shrugged his shoulders unenthusiastically.

"Whatever."

They had finally arrived at the airport when Ichigo's father pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket.

"Well it says here that she is at gate 3A"

Looking up at their nearest gate they saw the letters 4E. Ichigo just took in another deep breath.

"Great we're all the way in the complete opposite side."

Folding the piece of paper the older man put it back into his pocket. Looking at his watch he made a smile that gave Ichigo a sense of discomfort.

"What's that face for?"

Averting his eyes to his son he responded

"We've got three minutes until she arrives, are you in the mood for a little race?"

Ichigo looked at his father as if he was out of his mind.

"Are you seriously thinking of sprinting all the way across the airport in just three minutes, you must be out of your mind!"

The other man still had the same wild look on his face.

"Oh I'm completely serious, first impressions mean everything and we can't have our guest wait for us on her first day here, now on the count of three!"

Ichigo was still completely bewildered, one he still wasn't completely awake, two three minutes seemed nearly impossible.

"Now hold on ju-"

"ONE!"

Everyone at the airport now started to focus their attention on the odd pair.

"This is comple-"

"TWO!"

More people started to take notice of the two making Ichigo blush red with embarrassment.

"Dad really now is this ness-"

"THREE!!!!!"

And as the old man had promised began to race off leaving Ichigo dumbstruck giving him with no other choice.

"Damn!"

With that the son began to chase off after his crazed father.

After running into quite a few people, and getting away from the airport security who yelled for them to stop believing the two were terrorists running away from the scene of the crime they amazingly made it to the gate at exactly three minutes. Gasping for breath Ichigo went to his father about to tell him off

"ARE YOU ISANE!"

The other man just chuckled.

"Aren't you happy though we made it just in time?"

In deed they did make it right on time, the passengers were just then being let out of the gate.

"I couldn't care less-"

"Shhhh!"

"Don't tell me to shhh!" Ichigo yelled grabbing him by the collar.

"Idiot there she is!"

Ichigo's father pointed at the figure that lay ahead of them making Ichigo turn his head. He was struck numb as his jaw dropped to the familiar figure in front of him...

"SOI FONG?"


	2. Bringing Home Baby

Ichigo could not believe it, of all people, of all the millions of people, it had to be her. He had recollections of her sour manner in soul society, and the certain distaste she expressed towards him. The other thing that made him cringe with frustration was that this was supposed to be his time off, vacation time, and he certainly was not in the mood for sharing the comforts of his own home with a egotistical nut job. He was looking forward to one thing only, and that was called SLEEP!

Once they arrived at baggage claim, he hastily grabbed a hold of her and drug her well out of the public view.

"Listen here I don't know what you're up to but-"

But before he could finish his sentence the petite woman released herself from his grip.

"Don't think that just because we're in your world that you can speak to me in any manner you see fit!"

Ichigo had no choice but to swallow down his rage and remain speechless.

The ride back home was definitely the worst part for Ichigo. Being stuck for two hours in his father's station wagon with Miss Anti-social was not exactly what you would call a thrill ride. Being his usual socially inept self, Ichigo's father tried to break the awkward silence by striking up a conversation with Soi Fong.

"You'll have to excuse Ichigo if he's a little awkward…he has no experience with women…especially pretty ones. He has no luck in that department." Ichigo's face turned that very particular shade of red associated with rage.

"Oh how interesting, I would love to know more about your family." Soi Fong said with a mischievous smile towards Ichigo. This was all to much for Ichigo to keep in.

"What is your problem?! Is your sole purpose in life to make my life impossible?! Why don't you just kick me out of the car while it's still running and put me out of my misery once and for all?!?!?!" With that he forcefully turned the radio on at full volume and sulked and plotted for the rest of the way home.

"This is it!" Ichigo's thoughts were all too quickly interrupted.

Ichigo had never been more grateful for a breath of fresh air. He ran out of the car, and as he reached the door he vaguely noticed that all the lights in the house were off. Suddenly it hit him.

"Don't tell me", he sighed.

As his father switched on the lights all that came after was just as Ichigo had internally predicted.

"SURPRISE!"

A mass confusion of screams, lights and people seemed to engulf the entry way. Ichigo's father jumped and the unexpected welcome, but Soi Fong remained eerily composed throughout the whole commotion. Out from the bunch came a petit teenager.

"Hello there let me be th-"

Ichigo couldn't help but laugh under his breathe when Rukia took a double take as she recognized the captain. The entire room stood in silence, as if almost afraid to make a noise. He could have sworn he had heard someone in the back whisper,

"I think I just shit myself"

Rukia, tempted to formally address her superior, held herself taking into mind that not everyone knew just who she was.

"We-welcome to your n-new home!" Rukia said in attempt to look natural, but the cringe in her expression gave her away.

Acting perfectly calm the captain played her role of the shocked and surprised foreigner.

"Ooh you shouldn't have, all this for little old me!"

All this was said with a distinctive innocent smile on her face, making everyone who knew her all the more uncomfortable. The awkwardness was interrupted by the pop of a cork.

Every head turned around to find Kuukaku in the back, already half drunk, with a wine bottle in her hand and a crazed look on her face.

"What's the hold up? Let's have a party!"


	3. The Morning After

The screen door creaked as Soi Fong stepped out in her sleek black bath robe, with a newspaper snuggled under one arm, and a coffee mug in the other. She slouched down in the nearby rocking chair, enjoying the brisk morning air that prickled across her skin. Taking a sip out of her mug she cringed at the bitter taste of it.

"Blehhh, revolting, people actually drink this?!"

Finally getting over the bad aftertaste she pulled out the newspaper nestled under her arm.

"Hmmm….let's see what is going on in the wonderfully boring world of people."

Just as she was about to read the morning headline on _Paris Hilton and the Blue Man Group_ an unexpected intrusion caught her off guard. Mr. Kurosaki emerged from the front door with a pot and wooden spoon gripped tightly in both hands. His face looked somewhat hysterical. Soi Fong was no fool and could only assume what was about to happen.

"Oh shit"

"GET OUT OF MY PROPERTY YOU BUNCH OF FREE LOADERS!!!!!"

A pearl white grin sprawled over his face as the pot and spoon harmoniously created a boisterous variety of crashing and clanging noises, causing _poor_ old Soi Fong rushes to protect her ears from further impairment. The spell had been lifted from the Kurosaki residence, instigating abhorrent disgruntled grunts and groans. Oh did I forget to tell you. The household looked like a low-budget reenactment of WWII, figures. Bodies trailed around left and right, under bushes, over cars, and in the front lawn you could find a half conscious Kuukaku in a gorilla suit next to a the all American favorite pink flamingo, your guess is as good as mine. Ichigo couldn't bare it any longer, the pillow he had covering his face no longer served purpose.

"DAMMIT!"

Throwing off the covers he grumbled as he slipped on his power ranger slippers, yes people, power ranger. Stormily he headed down the stairs to identify the culprit.

"Who the HELL is making all that noi-"

He was left in mid-sentence; his lips stopped moving as his eyes were transfixed on his surrounding environment.

"Oh my lanta…."

Taking a step forward his foot met with the crunching sounds of half empty beer cans.

"Great."

Making his way through the mass chaos, he at last found his father in the front lawn chasing off people like a maniac.

Kuukaku and Kisuke could be found skipping down the street doing their own interpretation of a Lion King classic 'In the Jungle',

Some would call this sacriligious, others inspiration.


	4. Apple Jacks

Kisuke froze in mid-stanza, pausing to collect his thoughts. Kuukaku still lost in her solo debut failed to notice her friend and continued on with her rant

"Can you feel the loooo-ve tonight, oooohoooo!"

"Hey, put a sock in it lady!"

Meanwhile, Kisuke became troubled by the realization that he had left his wallet back at the house.

Damn, well I guess I'll have to go back. He quickly called after Kuukaku.

"Hey, I'll catch up with you later!" And with that he headed back to the Kurosaki's direction.

"THE CIRCLE OF LIIIFEEE!!!!!!"

"SHUT-UP ALREADY!"

" You just jealous you can't tap this!" She spat as she made a profane gesture to the local resident.

---------------

Meanwhile, back at the apartment.

---------------

He breathed in the icy air as he stamped out the bud of his cigarette with the heel of his boot. Leaning on the screen door he lifted his head toward the sky and spoke.

"So how long you planning to stay here?"

The porch rocking chair swayed back and forth creating that unique creak, it's occupant did so a couple more times before responding.

"Not long, I'm not too entirely thrilled with the situation either, but you know the rules Isshin."

He scratched his head and shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess it has been a while for me and the soul society."

More awkward silence followed.

"Well I guess I'm off then." Soi Fong lifted herself from the chair.

"Wait!" Mr. Kurosaki managed to get out before she was out of range

"What? You know I can't answer any specifics, so why are you pestering me?"

---Behind a nearby bush, dun dun dun!---

Kisuke's eyes widened with disbelief, _Oh snap, Kuukaku is gonna love this... hey, hey, get away from me you stupid fly!!_

Kisuke was having fun in the human world, but this was something he definitely would not miss when he went back to soul society, having to carry a wallet...not to mention hangovers.

-------------------------------------

"I TOLD YOU FRUITLOOPS!" Soi Fong spat as she threw the cereal box back into the shopping cart.

"DAMN YOU WOMAN, I WANT APPLE JACKS!" Ichigo yelled throwing out her cereal from the cart, replacing it with his own.

"FRUIT LOOPS!"

"APPLE JACKS!"

A variety of glances were given to the odd pair as they continued on with their WWF face down.

"I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public!" Soi fong shouted.

"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce!" Ichigo shot back.

"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?!" Soi Fong howled, quickly taking hold of nearby grocery foods she fired

them for ammunition in Ichigo's direction.

"Wait-OW, what the- okay that is it, OH IT'S ON!" He too took hold of what he deemed suitable for war.

The room soon became a battle ground for flying lettuce, tomatoes, chips, cereal, grapes, Chuck Norris----- Hold the hell on, **_Pause Button_**.

--**Author**: Chuck Norris? When the hell did that happen, damn this grocery store sure got a lot of _variety_, know what I'm say'n,

**Kuukaku**: That's fo damn sure.

**Author**: What th- get the hell out this is my script!

**Kuuukaku**: Fine, fine, I'm out.

**Author**: Anyways, sheesh, **_Play_**.

-------------------

--,coconuts, shoes, a KFC snack sandwich Only 99 cents folks, limited time only! -, and so on and such forth.

"Are you a moron, or are you possessed by a retarded ghost!?" Soi Fong yelled from behind her fort of diapers.

"Why are you even here in the first place!" Ichigo said as he landed an egg inside the diaper fortress. _Strike!_

"Ugh, gross!"

All this was going on until the automatic doors at the front opened and Rukia came in with her shopping cart all too cheerful until she got smacked in the face with a pack of ham.

"What in the world?!" Before Rukia could say 'I'm Coo Coo for Cocopuffs' her eyes were met two familiar faces that were pelting each other with what seemed to be food, home good, and celebrities. Bystanders fleed from the scene fearing for their lives, mothers protecting their young. Sighing with both disbelief and slight humor Rukia made her way to the battle arena were she made an atempt to put an end to this discord.

"STOP!" Rukia barked.

There was momentary ceasefire.

Soi Fong shot up from behind her wall assorted goods and walked to the entrance of the store befor turning around.

"Fruitloops." She said shooting a cold glare at Ichigo, and with that she left leaving a confused Rukia and a war torn Ichigo.

"Apple Jacks..." He growled.

------------Meanwhile back to Kisuke-----------

"WHAT!" Kuukaku blurted out causing her to choke on her beer.

"Ssshh shhhhh, somebody is going to hear you!" Kisuke frantically hushed.

"Oooh, oh I get it, it's a secret, heheh, I smell something goood!" Kuukaku mischievously chuckled as she stroked her imaginary moustache.

"Oh really you know I tried this new deode-"

"Not you moron, a plan get it, I swear if you said what you thought you'd be speechless, now where was I... oh, oh yes, now join me now Kisuke as I laugh like an evil mastermind!"

"Okay."

"Buahahahaha!"

"Muahahahaha!"

"BuahahaMuahhaha!"

"MuhahaBuahaa--Okay we can stop now." Kuukaku coughed

"Alright, to the bat mobile I guess then?" Kiskuke suggested.

"Right O' Robin, now bring back dat beat!"

And they both fled off into the background making their own rendition of what beat boxing is supposed to sound like, but in reality what devious plot do these two have in store for us, the world may never know...

_Fin_

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Author Note**: I realize this chapter is a bit off the wall but trust with me, I **_am_** going somewhere with this.


	5. Man vs Zombie

It was approximently 1:30 a.m. in the Kurosaki home. Most of its inhabitants were fast asleep, yes all except for one-alright so maybe about two. Anywho, the only noise heard was the current onslaught occuring on the downstairs T.V.(Video gamer vs. Game) The sweat beaded down his face as he gripped the control with his sweaty hands. 40 hours of straight game play had led up to this. The continuous genocide between Man and Zombie. Yet the fate of humanity was left to one soul. Could he do it, could he defeat the supreme dark overlord of ultimate EVIL!! No one would know, well not until our hero would stop acting like 15 year old school girl who is insecure about if orange really is the new pink-get some man juice!! Great gamer glory was about to be achieved ladies and gentlemen. The Final boss.-(OMG!)

Ichigo breathed in deeply before he finally took up the courage to do it.

"Alright, lets do this!"

With the press of a button the most ultimate smackdown of all smackdown history was about to begin.

Suddenly the Zombie demon flickered on the screen. Ichigo's heart was racing-could he really do this. Was he ready!?

"Take that!" Ichigo howled.

Blows were dealt by both parts. 30 hp off, 60 hp, 1,000,000 hp!! But wait what is this?

"Only 30 hp left and I can kill him, hehe."

Just when he was about to strike the final blow, the unexpected happened. The game shut down. The lights soon after flicked on. Soi Fong stood at the light switch with obvious pleasure in her smile.

"Don't you think you should sleep, you do have school today?" she smirked

Ichigo couldn't respond. He could only think

_Did I save the game, did I save, oh shit! I didn't save, what kind of a loser doesn't save! I was at the final boss when...Soi Fong._

In a instance he jumped from the sofa.

"YOU!!"

Soi Fong innocently replied "Me?"

"YOU GARDEN VARIETY TAVERN WENCH!!"

or in modern terms

**"YOU BI#H!"**

The sound of footsteps came rushing down the stairs. Mr. Kurosaki half awake came into the room with apparent annoyance on his face.

"What in the world is going on Ichigo?!"

"Dad I was at the final boss of Zombie Invasion 2.2848371XP when she turned of the game system without me saving even once!" He directed his hand in Soi Fong's direction only to find that there was no one there.

"But she was right there I swear!"

Mr. Kurosaki had finally lost his patience.

"You wake me up at the un-godly hours of the morning over a VIDEOGAME!!" He roared.

Ichigo took this as his cue an ran for the stairs.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Mr. Kurosaki raged chasing after him.

Meanwhile in **other** places

"You know what must be done..."

"Umm, who exactly are you?"

"Don't ask stupid questions you imbecile!"

"What the hell-who are you, wait-is, is that you Kuukaku, what are you doing under that cloak?!"

"NONSENSE! I haven't the slightest idea who this Kuu-ka-ku that you speak of!"

"Your a really bad liar I hope you know, your fake moustache is falling off."

"Oh thankyou let me fix that,wait oh-dammit! I see you have seen through my illusion Yoruichi, very well then!"

Yoruichi sighed as she tapped her foot waiting for a damn good explaination for what the hell was going on.

"What do you want Kuukaku?"

Ripping off her cloak Kuukaku almost fell as she atempted a dramatic pose.

"You know what I'm talking about, you know our **situation**, hint, hint, pat, pat, poke, poke-"

"Okay, okay I get it!" "I just don't see how this is _my_ problem!"

Kuukaku almost fell backwards in disbelief.

"Not YOUR problem, honey tell that girl to lick a duck she'll do it for you, she is your personal kiss-ass!"

Yoruichi gave her a cold glare. She had somewhere to be be and this wasn't it.

"So sue me, I have to be somewhere now scram!"

With that Yoruichi fleed off screen leaving a bewildered Kuukaku behind.

"So this is how its gonna be." She said under her breath.

_Very well_

She quickly clapped her hands once in the air.

"Kisuke get over here!"

"Captain!"

"Report to the Batcave Robin, we have our work set out for us."

"You mean we are actually going to go through with this?"

"DO NOT QUESTION ME OH YE OF LITTLE FAITH...But yeah, we are going with **_that_** plan."

"That's what I thought, should I bring the boombox?"

"Yeah, but don't bring any of that mix crap, you know how I like my rap."

"okie dokie, shall we then?"

"ALRIGHT commencing plan A!"

"Plan A-seriously?"

"Yeah it needs a tad bit more epic-ness."

"Well how about commencing plan TEMPTALICIOUS!"

"I like the sound of that, alright then- COMMENCING PLAN TEMPTALICIOUS!"

"SHUT-UP ALREADY LADY!"

Kuukaku turned around to her familiar foe.

"I TOLD YOU ALREADY, YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS!" She belted.

**End Chapter--**

Alright so I realize I haven't been the best at keeping up with my stories, sorry about that but I promise to try and write a chapter each week. Do not lose faith my amigos/amigas, I will avenge you for your lost time!

Oh yeah and I'm supposed to write this:

**I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!**


	6. Thunder Cats HOOOOO!

**Note: still the same day as chapter 5**

It had only been five hours previously that Ichigo had been victim to the war path of the incredibly anal Captain of the 2nd division. Oh how he longed to wring that woman around the neck. That would have to wait for another time though. Until then his plots of malicious attempts on her life would have to take shelter in the back of his thoughts.

"Hurry up or you are going to be late!"

The smell of greased bacon and eggs lingered around the kitchen. Ichigo ran down the stairs and skid in to grab the bacon and headed for the door.

"See ya later!" He shouted back.

Before he could reach for the doorknob he heard a distinct cough behind him.

"AHEMM…"

He cringed at the noise before he turned around to face evil.

"Forget something?"

There was Soi Fong dressed in school attire and that same completely fake innocent look on her face.

"No I don't think so." Ichigo replied sarcastically.

**On school campus--**

"ICHIGO!" squealed a certain redhead girl.

"Orihime-"

He barely finished her name before he was tackled by her hug of death.

"Can't….br-breath….no-no air!"

He struggled to gasp for air before Orihime released him from her death grip.

"Oh Ichigo I meant to call you!"

"Orihime-"

"But then this whole thing happened between my neighbor's dog and this horse and-"

"ORIHIME!"

She finally stopped talking and stared blankly at Ichigo.

"What?"

Ichigo just sighed and moved aside to reveal the person standing behind him.

"Oh pleasure to meet you. Let's get out of this sunlight I can't get a good look at your face. Ah much better. What is your name? My name is- shit."

Orihime turned stiff. Ichigo merely shrugged. Soi Fong smiled that all too famous smile and reached out her hand and shook the stone faced Orihime's hand forcefully.

"Pleasure to meet you umm…Shit, my name is Soi Fong!"

She then bent closer and whispered into her ear.

"_Don't you dare blow my cover or I'll give you a whole lot more than just a handshake_."

She then left Ichigo and Orihime and headed for the front office. Orihime quickly snapped out of her trance and turned to Ichigo.

"Why is she here?!"

Ichigo kept his cool. He looked at the clearly frightened Orihime. Soi Fong tended to have that affect on people.

"Foreign Exchange."

"More like foreign exchange disaster." Breathed a voice behind them.

Both turned around to see Yoruichi.

"Yoruichi, what are you doing here?" Ichigo asked curiously.

Yoruichi gritted her teeth before she spoke.

"Kuukaku."

She thought back to earlier that day.

**FLASHBACK/ FLASHBACK/ FLASHBACK/ FLASHBACK/ FLASHBACK**

Yoruichi had been shopping at Best Buy for the new Thunder Cats season two DVD that was on sale, but for some reason it had been sold out at every store she had been to. This was the last store she was going to go to before she would finally give in and then sulk at the universe. As she approached the DVD section she searched and then like a freaking beam of super amazing light...there it was, the last copy of Thunder Cats- HOOOOO! Her pace quickened as she got closer and closer. She reached out to grab it when, POOF, it vanished.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Yoruichi cried as she fell on her knees. Various customers looked at her with inquiry. She dug her face in her hands and cursed the world for denying her Thunder Cats.

"Looking for this?" chuckled a voice from behind.

Yoruichi lifted her head and immediately glared at the two figures in front of her.

"Why you, give it back to me!"

She jumped at the two before being stopped by their conversation.

"Ara, Ara Yoruichi don't make me break this!" There was a stifled laughter.

Yoruichi looked at them with pleading eyes. They then put the DVD down and one of them took out a hammer from their purse--**Pause Button.**

**Author:** I really hope that people don't actually carry hammers in their purses. DON'T MAKE ME QUESTION YOUR SANITY!

**End Scene.**

**Play.**

And faked as if they were going to break it half-in the _**middle**_ of the store! Yoruichi finally piped up.

"NO WAIT-wait what do you want!" she pleaded.

"We have already told you and yet you refused to comply!"

"Give me a break, how do you even know she will listen to me!"

"Oh what a nice series, wouldn't look a whole lot better SMASHED INTO A MILLION PIECES!"

"NO YOU WOULDN'T DARE!"

"Oh try me, why do you think you couldn't find any of them anywhere hmmm! TWAS I, I bought them all MUAHAHAHAHA!"

"NO YOU MUSN'T-wait what?"

"I said MUAHAHAHA?!"

"No before that, you said you bought out all the stores?"

" That is correct MUAHAHAHA!"

"That's dumb"

"MUAHAHAHA—wait what, why?"

"Well given gas prices today you really shouldn't waste your money so irrationally."

"You've got a good point actually-hold up no! I'm the bad guy here now you listen to me! Now you either get rid of her or your precious Thunder Cats shall be subject to the awesomeness of my hammer!"

"You loser I can just order it online!"

"You don't have a credit card, HA!"

"Damn you have point."

"Of course I do, now are you willing to comply or shall Thundera pay the consequences!"

Once more they raised the hammer in attempts to threaten the lifespan of the DVD.

"NO, alright, alright, I'll do it. So what is the plan you two?"

Kuukaku and Kisuke smiled in satisfaction.

"I'm glad you asked. Now commencing PLAN TEMPTALICIOUS!"

Yoruichi rolled her eyes.

_Damn I sure love me some Thunder Cats. Lion-O why are you so fine!_

**END FLASHBACK/ END FLASHBACK/ END FLASHBACK/ END FLASHBACK**

Yoruichi sighed and looked at Ichigo and Orihime. Then she saw the clock behind them.

_Oh no I'm going to be late!_

"Well catch you later guys!"

She quickly made her way past them.

"Wait-wait!" Ichigo tried to say but Yoruichi was in a mad rush to somewhere and soon out of sight.

"Strange that one is." Orihime muttered.

"Yes, very strange." Ichigo agreed.

The bell finally rang and they realized that they needed to make it to home room. They made a made rush down the hallway.

"Darn, first day back and I'm already late!" Ichigo growled.

**END**

**Kuukaku**: Oh Thunder Cats how I love you!

**Kisuke**: How about we do another sing a long for our fans?

**Kuukaku**: Spot on sir, now bring dat beat back!

**Thunder Cats Rap**-

Yeah there ain't no otha'

Like Lion-O my brotha'

Mike check, mike check, one, two, one, two

Now heres how I'm gonna lay it out fo' you!

Out in outer space

lemme tell you 'bout a place

Thundera was the name

And it was good 'til it was gone

That shit blew up like Darth Vader on Alderaan!

Now they're stuck on Third Earth

Spreading their kitty joy and mirth!

But then Mum Rah came along

With his beastmen posse in full throng

So they fought for their survival

Against these idiotic rivals

Like white on rice, cold on ice, and cat on mice

Those Thunder Cats beat down Mumrah thrice! OH!

**Yoruichi**: What in the name of Thundara are you two doing?!

**Kuukaku**: We are just making the best rap song of all time!

**Kisuke**: Yep, yep.

**Yoruichi**: No, what you two are doing is ruining a classic! White on rice, fo' shame!

**Kuukaku**: Come on, you know you can't resist the urge.

**Yoruichi**: Pondering

**Kuukaku**:Hm, what do you say?

**Yoruichi**: /sighs/ Well then I guess I'm left with no choice. Kisuke!

**Kisuke**:Yep, yep!

**Yoruichi**: Bring dat beat back!

WORD!!

**End omake**


	7. Why me?

Yoruichi walked hastily across the campus, bumping into the occasional student

Yoruichi walked hastily across the campus, bumping into the occasional student. She stilled cursed Kuukaku in the back of her mind. Yet for the sake of her precious Thunder Cats she had no choice but to follow their little schemes. Part 1 of plan temptalicious was about to commence. Well sort of anyways. Kuukaku's orders were straight forward and quite blunt. She didn't necessarily want to annihilate Soi Fong or anything _too_ rash. Actually that was not it at all. No one would have guessed it either. In fact as Yoruichi soon found out the real reason behind Kuukaku's plot was none other than to--nooo/bad…./re-cep..tion…the….se-cret.. is that.. Uggh..uh..Ahhhh!

**Kuukaku**: Ha, ha! Take that narrator! Trying to foil the storyline for the readers!

**Narrator**: Ughh…the…t-truth is that…..

**Kuukaku**: Take that! –Le SMACK- and one of these! Ha, ha! Sorry guys but you are going to have to wait for that part! Over and out!

**End Transmission**…

**New narrator**:

Ahemm, well then where were we, ah yes so back to Yoruichi

She had finally made it. The front office was in eye sight and she went straight for the door. Just as she was right at the door it opened on its own and another person ran right into her.

"Oh sorry about that!" Yoruichi said for about the 30th time that day.

"Don't worry about it. My fault." They replied.

Yoruichi finally got a clear look at their face and the other person to her. They both gasped.

"Soi Fong?!"

"Yoruichi?"

They both stared blankly at each other. Well this was unexpected.

"Why are you here?" Soi Fong shot.

"Business, you?" Yoruichi replied, she had to keep her cool. Under no circumstances could she blow her cover.

"Foreign exchange." Soi Fong said rather bluntly.

"Really now. Nothing to do with the soul society I take?" She pried in deeper to try and figure out the girl's motives.

"Nope, I just wanted some time off."

_Liar_, Yoruichi told herself. Then she spoke.

"How unlike you Captain. I guess I'll be on my way then."

"Later."

The pair walked right past each other in opposite directions.

_Awkward_, Yoruichi thought to herself.

_She is definitely up to something_, Soi Fong affirmed.

Walking into the office Yoruichi headed straight for the secretary.

"Excuse me can you help me?"

The Secretary looked up from her book and gave a quick smile.

"Sure, what do you need?"

Yoruichi breathed in deeply and then exhaled before mouthing out the words.

"Can you help me enroll into the school?"

--Homeroom--

"Ichigo Kurosaki, would you please pay attention during class!"

Ichigo had his head laid down the desk. Although he never admitted it, last night really took the energy right out of him. The reason he didn't bother to lift his head up for was that he really didn't care much for the new student who had just arrived into his homeroom.

"Mr. Kurosaki, please show some respect for our new student!" exclaimed the teacher.

Giving into the school system Ichigo smugly lifted his head up and rested his it on the palms of his hands.

"Sure." He muttered under his breath.

"Thank you sir, now everyone I would like you all to give a warm welcome to our new exchange student from…excuse me where did you say you were from again?"

"Germany." Soi Fong automatically responded.

_Definitely suits you. _Ichigo smirked at this thought. _Heil._

"Ah very fascinating, now Miss. Fong, would you care to take a seat by hmmm…. how about….ah yes. Mr. Kurosaki!"

Ichigo shot straight up from his chair with great alarm.

"Now, now wait just a minute there Professor! Can't she sit next to Renji over there?!"

Renji turned around in his chair and shot Ichigo a death glare.

"I am afraid not, given your current grade point average in comparison to Miss. Fong's here you need all the help you can get."

The entire class laughed at this remark, especially Renji. Soi Fong remained perfectly silently yet still surrounded by a scary vibe. Ichigo turned into a deep shade of red and then dug his face into both his arms at the desk.

"You may take your seat now Miss. Fong."

Soi Fong politely smiled and made her way to the desk next to Ichigo who sulked in his sad state. Ichigo lifted his eyes up to sneak a quick look at her. She sat perfectly straight and still had that stupid smirk on her face. He shuddered and then dug his head back into his arms.

"Now I know you all had a great break but now we have to get back into school mode."

The class grunted in unison, Soi Fong still reserved and poised.

"Now, now! Everyone please take out your textbooks and turn to page 238!"

Another chorus of grunts and complaints followed until there was a slight knock at the door.

"Quit it out guys, there is someone at the door, now get out your textbooks!"

The teacher walked to the door and Ichigo once more lifted his head to get a good look at the visitor. As the teacher opened the door all Ichigo could see was a slip of paper being handed to him. He couldn't get a good look at the face but he could somewhat gather that it was a girl.

"Oh, well this really is unexpected!" The teacher gasped.

Everyone's attention was now to the door.

"Well then I guess I have to let you in."

The teacher turned around and faced the class. Then began to speak.

"It seems that we have another student enrolling in our class!" He declared.

Everyone whispered to themselves with a mixture of excitement and confusion.

"Please do come in and introduce yourself."

A figure walked into the room and the entire class was in awe.

"Hello my name is Yoruichi Yagami! Please take good care of me!" said the purple haired tan beauty.

Ichigo practically fell out of the chair. Renji was hyper ventilating and Orihime was having a panic attack. Chad could be seen in the corner with a solid look on his face. Ishida went even paler then he already was. Yet out of everyone the most surprising reaction was Soi Fong. She still remained silent and reserved, not a hint of surprise in her face.

_What in world is going on!_ Ichigo's mind was about to burst with all the thoughts that were racing in his mind.

Everyone else just looked at her with admiration, others, well for other reasons.

"I can tell from your transcript that you are very bright, well then let us see….hmm… well might as well. You can sit at the other empty seat beside Mr. Kurosaki back there."

Ichigo groaned. _Not again!_

Yoruichi moved past all the desks being careful not to look Soi Fong directly in the eyes. She innocently smiled as she took her seat, except unlike Soi Fong she slouched in her chair and lacked the poise. Ichigo gave her a quick glance and then felt a slip of paper being passed into his hand.

Trying to be as stealth as possible, he quietly opened it:

_Look, I am here on strictly confidential business so don't ask me about it._

_I'm sorry I can't really say much more but you would understand if you _

_only knew the position I am in. Just act normal and act like you don't know_

_me 'k?_


End file.
